Who am I as a Communicator?

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.  

Tony Robbins

This week I had the opportunity to think about the similarities and differences between how I evaluated myself as a communicator and how others evaluated me. I asked my best friend who is also my former co-teacher, and my husband to rate me using communication measures.

What I found surprising was how uneasy I was about how they would rate me as a communicator.  I have great relationships with both my husband and my best friend, but I have never asked them to rate me on anything.  I was nervous about how I would feel if they thought that I was not a good communicator.  The innate need for their approval was a bit surprising as I feel confidant in who I am.  The difficulty is not only recognizing your own weaknesses, but being willing to hear that others are aware of those weaknesses as well. 

Our results were very similar and both thought that overall I was a effective communicator.  There were areas that my husband pointed out to me and I realize that I communicate differently with him then I do other people.  I am happy that he brought it to my attention and I will work on this.  It is interesting to learn about how others perceive you as a communicator, and when their perception is similar to your perception of yourself, I believe it indicates that you are on the right track and aware of where you need to grow. Recognizing that communication “is the process by which individuals use symbols, signs, and behaviors to exchange information” (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 4).  Communication is such an important part of our lives. In the interactions of my personal life and professional work, I am committed to continue growing as a competent communicator, because communication impacts lives being changed and communities being impacted.

Reference

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

How do I communicate?

On a daily basis, I communicate with hundreds of people each and everyday.  As I communicate with each group of people, I communicate with each of them in my own special way. When I am communicating with children, I use a certain tone and language, this language guides in my nurturing of my children. As I communicate with my siblings and other family members, I am more relaxed and laid back. This type of communication occurs, because I am more comfortable with them and I know that I am free to be myself.  Communicating with colleagues and clients, I communicate in a manner that displays my level of professionalism.

Based on what I have learned this week, I have learned of the importance of   being "other-oriented, by following the “Platinum Rule” to help me communicate more effectively with people on a professional and personal level. I have also learned that when interacting with people on a professional and personal level, I need to make sure my body language matches my words. I also learned that I need to remain neutral or unbiased when interacting with the diverse group of families/students and colleagues I work with so that I am more effective in my teaching/facilitating lessons.

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

For this week's assignment we had to watch a television show that we had never seen before.  The first time we watched it the volume had to be down and then we had to watch it again with the volume up.  I am a TV junkie so finding a show that I had never seen before was a little challenging.  On Wednesday night I was up super late and was scrolling through the guide and discovered
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

The episode opens with a group of people dressed nicely drinking beers in a parking lot.  There were 4 males and one female and I could tell that they were friends based on their interactions with each other.  I immediately recognized Danny Devito as one of the males, but he was much older than the rest of the group so I was not sure how he fit in with everyone else.  Based on the clothing that everyone was wearing I could tell that they were either coming from or going to a formal gathering. The nonverbal cue that I observed that led me to believe they were friends were smiles, gestures of cheers, and they all threw their beer bottles on the ground at the same time and then hi fived each other afterwards. They all walk to a building and a security guard stops them, words are exchanged and Danny Devitos character is not admitted inside.
 The group of friends were going to their high school reunion and based off their expressions I could tell that all had different feelings about it.  As they get closer to the registration table they notice a man sitting there and two of the friends stop walking and go in another direction. The other two continued walking to the table and spoke to the guy sitting there.  They found their name tags and met up with the other friends inside the reunion.

I watched the show again with the volume and learned who the character were.  The female in the group is Dee, and the other males are Dennis, Mac, Charlie, and Frank.  Danny Devitos character is Frank.  I was right that they were all friends that went that went to high school together.  The beer smashing is something that they did while in school and continue to do.  I leaned that Frank did not attend the high school and that is why he was not admitted in.  I still don't know how Frank fits into the group, but they all are friends.  Based off the conversation in the parking lot, they were all excited because they had changed so much and wanted the poplar group to notice.

Some of my assumptions about the show were right, but others I would not have guessed without the volume.  The group of friends were not popular in school and wanted to be popular now.  The reason Charlie avoided the guy at the table was because he played a cruel joke on him and  was afraid.  Dee spent all of her years in a body cast, and Mac was embarrassed by his name, Ronald McDonald.  The were picked on all throughout school and were given nicknames by the popular crowd.  The reunion did not seem to be a positive experience for any of them, but they were still cheerful and funny.  Seeing that without she volume I would have never known what was going on.

If this were a show that I watched on a regular basis then I believe my assumptions would have been correct because I was familiar with the show.  I did some research on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and learned that it premiered in 2005 and this particular episode was from 2011.  There is a lot of history that I don't know about and if I had watched it from the beginning I would know more about each character.

Competent Communicator

When I read the description for this assignment I knew immediately the person I wanted to talk about.  Yesterday was the 4^th of July and I spent time with my grandmother.  My father’s mother is a feisty woman and always speaks her mind.  In my household growing up there were several topics that were off limits.  I remember wanting to talk to my parents about sex, drugs and life questions and the answers were always short or ignored.  I felt as though I lived in a bubble and when it was time for me to go off to college, I did not feel prepared.  I called my grandmother the day before I left for school and our 3hr conversation changed my life.  She was so open to all my questions and answered all of them thoroughly.  After that conversation I began calling her once a week just to talk.  Over the years I have watched how she communicates with others and I have admired her strength.  Sometimes my granny can be a bit to blunt, but underneath it all is love.  She told once that sometimes the truth hurts but that was a part of life. 

I value the many lessons that I have learned about communication through my grandmother.  In my work with children and families, I have learned how to be gentle when talking to them about sensitive topics, but I have also learned that no matter how sensitive the subject may be I have to be honest.  I think that is so important in our field.  I have worked with educators who only believed in telling the parents good things and never wanted to relay bad news.  In the long run it was the child that suffered because the truth wasn’t being told about the issues he/she was having.   It is a necessity and not an extra to exhibit good communication skills to our parents as well as their children.