What I Have Learned

One hope that I have when I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds is that my attitude and behavior will always demonstrate acceptance and respect for all types of diversity. This course has provided me the opportunity to examine myself in a way that I had not done in previous years. Through reflection and some reexamination, I have learned a lot about myself and now know what I need to do to call myself an anti-bias educator.

One goal I would like to set for the early childhood field is to make sure that all early childhood professionals and staff be trained and educated on issues of diversity, equity, and social justice.  I think it is essential for everyone in the field of education and early childhood to be aware of how biases influence our society and everyone in it. If we all do our part to make education more equitable and just for people from all types of backgrounds, then we will be able to make a tremendous impact on the lives of children and their families.  As educators, we can’t control what is being taught at home, but we can set criteria of respect and tolerance when our students are in our classrooms.

I want to take this opportunity to thank all of my colleges for their input and support throughout this learning process that we have undergone together. This class has been a great learning experience. It has been so wonderful to have the support of my classmates through this class. I have enjoyed the opportunity to communicate and collaborate with my peers throughout this class. I appreciate all the responses and comments they have helped me look deeper and think harder.  Thank you so much for everything, and I hope to see you all in the next class on our journey!!

Start Seeing Diversity Blog: Creating Art

Below is a photo collage of what diversity mean to me, as well as, a beautiful poem"Can A White Boy Dream Like Martin Luther King?", written by Patrick M. Shutt.

I looked at myself in the mirror today. There were no lies in the eyes of the truth that was being conveyed. He told me something so simple and yet so sound and profound. He said that it was okay for a white boy to dream like Martin Luther King. But then. I excused, stated, and proclaimed, I am not black, for I am white, surely this cannot be my fight." "Your epidermis may be light. You bleed in humanity's colors." He explains Your blood pumps blue through your heart and in your veins. It oxidizes red when it exits your wounds. You don't see in gray. You feel in hot and cold. You see in only black and white, with no lukewarm in sight. Yes, a white boy can dream like Martin Luther King. Your momma didn't raise no fool, Your DNA is interwoven with the talent and the tools, capable of the same type of change that MLK orchestrated in decades past. You don't bundle up in tattered rags of hate. You are clothed in unity, Embroidered in equality, Tattooed in diversity, but most importantly- You are saturated in purity and grace. From the blackest coal, into the brightest, shiniest, sharpest, strongest diamond, is a "so-called lowly white boy who can dream big like Martin Luther King.

 Patrick M. Shutt


 I decided to add this video of Christopher Duffy. This is from 2010 and at the time he was 10 years old. I was overcome with emotion as I watched it and the tears I shed were of pure joy. Christopher is blind and also autistic and expresses himself clearly through song. As a musician, I know how powerful music is and the affects that it can have on both the musician and the listener.

The video has a long introduction.  If you don't want to watch it scroll to 3:05, this is right before Christopher begins singing.

"We Don't Say Those Words in Class!"

In this blog, I was asked to identify a time when I witnessed an adult (or myself) reprimand or silence a child after he or she pointed out someone they saw as different. I often talk about experiences that I have had with my niece Kalynn. We spend a lot of time together, and I have watched her grow and develop into a sting willed, independent 10-year-old. When Kalynn was five years old, we would spend every weekend in the park. I have three dogs, and she loved to run around with them. On this particular day, we decided to go to Piedmont Park, located in Midtown Atlanta. Midtown Atlanta has a reputation for its large gay community, and I did not think that Kalynn would notice because I wasn't paying attention to the people around us. We ventured to Piedmont on a Sunday, and I learned later that Sundays at Piedmont has been called Gay Sundays. Kalynn and I were walking around trying to locate the playground and were approached by a group of guys that wanted a closer look at the dogs. Kalynn became extremely uncomfortable and grabbed my hand and moved as close to me as possible. I looked down to see what was going on with her, and she looked so scared. I asked her what was wrong, and she replied that she did not want to go to hell for speaking to "faggots." To say that I was shocked is an understatement. The guys playing with my dogs heard her and so did the people walking nearby. For about 15 seconds I had no clue how to handle this situation. I believe the first thing I said to her was that we did not use that word. I apologized to the men and went to sit on a bench with Kalynn. At the time, she was going to a Christian school, and I wanted to know where she had heard that word. Kalynn informed me that she heard her friends brother telling someone that if he saw two men holding hands or kissing then they were "faggots". She also said that her friends father had told his son that those people go straight to hell, and so did anyone that spoke to them. I thanked Kalynn for sharing that with me and told her that she was not in trouble. Instead of staying on the bench, I decided that the best way to teach her about homosexuality would be to walk around and talk about what we saw. We located the playground, and there was a couple there with their two children. I asked Kalynn to describe what she saw, and she said that she saw two little girls and two men. I then asked her who did she think the two men were, and she seemed confused. I explained to her that they were the girl's fathers. I then compared the relationship that we had. I am not Kalynn's mother, but for the first several years of her life neither her mother or father were present in her life and I became her mother figure. I explained to her that even though I was not the woman that gave birth to her that I loved her like she was my daughter. We talked more about it and before long Kalynn was on the playground with the two girls and I was talking to their dads. I explained to them what had happened, and they told me that they had had to deal with situations like that often at their kids school. The advised me to continue having conversations with Kalynn about differences and to let her ask all the questions she wanted. Now five years later, Kalynn and I have an amazing relationship, and I am glad that she feels comfortable in knowing that she can talk to me about anything. It is important as anti-bias educators to encourage and support children sharing what they think and how they feel (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010). Encouraging this openness will “help teachers to asses each child’s cognitive and emotional development, thereby strengthening our ability to provide accurate information and to teach respectful ways for interacting which in turn, creates a sense of community among the children” (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 129). Reference: Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

Your response to those who believe that early childhood centers should avoid the inclusion of books depicting gay or lesbian individuals such as same-sex partnered families. Currently at my center we have two children and they have two mommies. I recently sat down with the leadership team because I felt that we needed to do more to make this family feel included. I received there full support and began researching books to add to my classroom. One of the parents in my classroom overheard me talking my co teacher about and that night I had an email from her. She told me that she thought it was great that these two women had adopted those "poor" boys, but she did not want me to read anything to her child about families with gay parents. I think that I read the email 3 times because I was totally shocked. I wasn't expecting this and didn't know how to handle it. The next day I spoke with the leadership team again and they sent out a school wide email that said that the school acknowledges all families and that we want them to feel included in our school. Shortly after the gmail went out the family that complained gave notice and left the school. If you have ever used or heard homophobic terms such as "fag," "gay," "homo," "sissy," "tom boy," or "lesbo" as an insult by a child toward another child? Or, by an adult toward a child? Describe what occurred. How might these types of comments influence all child? I am guilty of telling a child to "man up" which basically means to stop acting like a female and to start acting like a man. When I said it, I didn't think about what as coming out of my mouth. I thought about it after the fact and realized how wrong it was. I have caught my niece saying things like "fag" and "sissy". When I asked her where she heard those words her answer was at school. I asked her what other words she had heard and I was shocked to hear "bitch", "slut" and other offensive words. We had a long talk about what these words mean and how offensive they can be to others. We are both working on being more cognizant about the things that we say.

Until we meet again

Irish Blessing

May the road rise to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

And the rains fall soft upon your fields.

Until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His Hand.

What an amazing journey this has been so far.  This journey has been such a wonderful learning opportunity. It could not have been possible without the connections we have made along the way. I have connected with several classmates, and have an immense respect for each and every one of my colleagues I engaged with along this journey. The connections I have made and relationships formed with many of you will never be forgotten.  It's hard to imagine that we are nearing the end of this journey.  We all have a driven passion to work with families, children, communities, and colleagues in the field to make a difference and make a change in the future.    All of the work put into this degree has been well worth the effort and I have learned more about the early childhood education field in the United States and abroad than I ever thought I would have I have become a better, stronger professional in the early childhood field and have no doubt this is where I can make a difference.

I would like to take this time to graciously thank each of you for your contributions both on the blog and discussion boards. You have help to provide much insight into the field of early childhood for me. I really appreciated each of your comments, as they were an inspiration to me. I wish each of you the best in your future endeavors and look forward to working with you all again.  I look forward to walking across that stage with you on graduation day.

Until we meet again,

Keli

Team Development

One of the most reading experiences in my life was my first International Tour of Porgy and Bess.  I will never forget the day I found out that I had been chosen for the European tour.  One of my first thoughts was who else is doing this, do I know any of them, what are they like.  I had a little over a year to learn music and make arrangements to be gone from home for 8 months.  The day I arrived in Paris, I had 3 hrs to move into my apartment before going to the first music rehearsal.  We made introductions and then dove into the music.  During the first break, I spoke to several of my colleagues and I remember feeling like I was speaking to people I had known for years. The chemistry amongst us was instant and we carried that onto the stage with us.  
When staging began we hit a few rough patches with the stage director.  Her background was in dance and she had not done any research on what the opera was about.  Usually when Porgy and Bess is being performed it is done the traditional way.  Our director gave it a more urban setting and wanted absolutely no props.  She had spent a great deal of time in parts of Africa observing the people and wanted to use those images throughout the opera.  It took some time for everyone to get used to this new view of the opera, but eventually we all grew to love it and it turned out to be an AMAZING production.  

After a few weeks of rehearsing everything was running smoothly.  During our off days we spent a lot of time together exploring Paris.  The  orchestra was from Miami, Fl and the opera chorus was from Atlanta.  The entire cast was American and besides our love for music that was another commonality we shared.  Opening night comes and we are off and running!  Each performance was always better than the previous and we were all riding high!  We performed a total of 30 operas in Paris before heading to our next location.  2 weeks before the tour was over I remember waking up in the middle of the night crying.  It took me awhile for me to understand why I was upset, but then I realized it was because my time with this incredible group of people was coming to an end.  Yes, I was excited to reunite with my husband and family, but the thought of not being with my other family was stressful.  On the night of our final performance we were having out traditional prayer circle and we all felt a shift in the atmosphere.  We prayed like never before and the music we created that night was the most beautiful music I have ever heard.  I honestly don't know the words to describe what happened that night.  It truly was an emotional closing night and it was hard to believe that it was over.

I chose this particular group experience because it covers the five stages of team development.  I think that high-perfoming groups are harder to leave because you all work so hard to reach that final goal.  And you are proud of all the work that everyone has done to complete the project.  In this case it was getting to opening night.  The first three week we had 12 hr rehearsal days with one day off during the week,  I was jet lagged for almost a month because I never had a chance to just rest.  We all experienced difficult times, but when we came together we all had one goal in mind and that was the production.

As we get closer to completing this master's program, I will be sad not to have our weekly communication.  More than anything I will be proud because we did it!  Balancing work, family, home, and school had been hard and yet we stuck through to the end.  Adjourning is an essential stage of teamwork because you are able to reflect on all that you have done to get the end result.  If the experience wasn't good then you can see what changes can be made to make the next experience better.

Personal Conflict

For this week's blog, our assignment was to think about any disagreements, or conflicts we have experienced and share the strategies we learned that might be helpful and effective in managing and resolving conflict more productively.

I work really hard to have as little conflict in my life as possible.  My husband and I have small spats every now and then.  At work I have a wonderful co-teacher and we get along well and when there are issues we are able to talk it out.

The past few months it seems as if my life has been full of conflict.  I have a alcoholic brother that has been living with me for almost a year and I had to ask him to leave my home.  This has to be one of the hardest things I have ever done.  Personally I could not continue to watch him kill himself and emotionally I am drained.  I have never argued with my husband as much as I did when my brother was living with me.  On July 1 reached my boiling point.  My brother had a heart attack and his organs were beginning to decline.  The doctor spoke to us and said that if he doesn’t stop drinking he will die.  I literally snapped and I exploded on my brother.  Looking back on that day I was completely out of line and I should not have spoken to him like that.  My emotions replace all my logical thinking and I did not like the person that I was looking at in the mirror.  I have realized that I can’t make my brother be sober and right now I am choosing to love him from a distance. 

I wish that I had known about NVC and the 3R’s that day.  I am big on respect and I did not show my brother respect, I did not give him a chance to talk and the truth is I was rude to him and had a nasty attitude.  I use to have a wonderful relationship with my brother and when I was younger I idolized him.  The next time I have a conversation with my brother I will remember the good memories and focus on how I can support him if he chooses recovery.  When we spoke about The Platinum Rule a few weeks ago I vowed to always have that in my mind and that is something that I plan on doing.

For me the most important thing that I can do when dealing with my brother is to remember that he is sick and that alcoholism is a disease. 

Effective communication is such an important part of life.  It impacts every relationship, personal or professional.  I am so glad I have this class as a reminder of the proper and effective ways to communicate. Learning about conflict resolution in communication has helped me understand mistakes I have made in the past that led to negative outcomes. I will apply the skills I have learned in the future in attempt to avoid conflicts in communication.