Observing Communication

My observation took place yesterday at Target.  I was shopping for a friend's baby shower and I observed a conversation between a mother and her son.  I am not sure how old he was, but he could not have been any older that 3 or 4.

I overheard her the mother talking to a friend and learned that she was also buying a gift for a baby shower.  The little boy asked her if the baby was a boy or girl and his mother answered that it was a boy.  She told him that the baby's name was going to be Landon and he asked her who picked that name.  He then went on to ask who named him.  Before his mother could answer, he answered his question and said that he was born with his name.  His mother's friend looked at the child and told him that he was being stupid and that the reason he was born with his name was because his mother had chosen it before he was born. His mother said nothing.

The two women continued looking around the baby section and talking about the baby shower.  The child became really quiet and followed behind them.  I continued to observe them from afar but was having a constant battle with myself as to whether i should continue to be silent or speak up for this innocent child.  After a few minutes of being silent, the child asked if he could get a toy and the mother's friend answered first and told him that if he didn't say anything else she would buy him two. His mother laughed and told her that she was crazy.  Again, I watched this precious child withdraw and not utter another sound.

I could not watch them anymore because I was becoming more and more upset.  I kept playing the scene over in my head of this child being told he was stupid.  Honestly the only stupid person I saw was the one doing the name calling.  The definition of "stupid" is lacking intelligence or common sense and in my opinion anyone that would call someone, especially a child stupid fits that description .

The only effective communication I observed was at the beginning when the mother and child were talking about the sex of the baby.  That all changed as soon as the mothers friend became involved.  I don't know the nature of their relationship, but I can't believe this mother stood by and allowed her child to be called stupid.  She should have stood up for her son as soon as the word stupid left her mouth.  My heart broke for this child and I spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about him.  I kept asking myself why did she bring him with her if all she was going to do was ignore him.  I pray that this doesn't happen often, but something in my gut tells me that it does.

My communication with children is much better than what I observed.  I strive to be accepting, respectful, and sensitive in my communication with children (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).  The one thing that I am working on is to be a more effective and reflective listener.  I want my verbal as well as my nonverbal behavior to reflect that I am interested in what they are saying, and that I am willing to see and try to understand situations from their perspective.

Reference

Laureate Education, Inc. (Executive Producer). (2011). Communicating with young children. [Course media].